I have not met him in person.
The biggest act of courage is to have faith. Faith in your Guru. I have never blogged about religion except for one post that brought out my uncontrollable emotions that I have always hidden. "I believe in God". Somehow this statement seems to baffle many so called outgoing peers of mine and so I never bothered or honestly was too shy to bring out my true feelings and write about them. I wanted to blend in rather than stand out and be me. It’s very easy to write about love and relationships once you have been through your college life. It is very very difficult to blog about your religious feelings because many times we refuse to let ourselves accept the fact that we are religious.
Well, when I say I have not met him in person I am not referring to God. It is on the contrary a person whom I’m gonna be spending the rest of my life with. I’m not in love with him because as I have always said love nowadays is highly overrated. Well then why did I decide to marry him even without meeting him? The answer is- My heart says so. If that is not a valid enough point for you as a reader then discontinue reading this post. Because that’s what it is about. My heart and my Guru said that this is the person for me. I still tell him I love him and it may seem contradicting but unfortunately there has never been a word created that could describe a feeling which every girl has for the guy she is getting married to and so we adjust with the word love.
It would confuse many why I am changing so much for a guy I hardly know. Well, I am not changing for him. It is because of him that I finally can be what I really wanted to be but was too scared of people’s reaction. The beautiful dastaar and the chunni on my head is what I wanted. The serene bliss and calm on the face. Being my Guru’s beloved Kaur.
Do I need a guy to help me become my Guru’s daughter? Am I that weak? The answer is yes. I am that weak even now that sometimes I get scared of the path that I have chosen. What I’m not scared of is to admit this weakness. Every person has their own journey to follow and I am glad I have got a life partner who shares his passion for religious knowledge with me. We are not competing in this journey but are holding each other tightly while taking every step forward. He has walked this journey for quite some time now but is willing to slow down and show me the way.
We both have the strength to teach and to learn from the other, not because we are some amazing creatures but because our Guru has amazing faith in us. We love our lives and love showing care and possessiveness for each other. At the same time we love traveling on this unfathomable journey of being a true Gursikh.
I hope we have the courage to have faith in our Guru. That is all we expect out of ourselves and out of each other.
Rabb Rakha
