The first question I had asked my Singh before our marriage was about facial hair!! I just never thought I could be accepted with them by any 'reasonably sane' guy. I still feel that was the most inconsequential and silly question I had asked yet that too was patiently answered. I know these things now but a year back I saw things differently. So what has changed over this year? Have I stopped socialising, gone underground or have been brain washed?
The answer is.. My perspective has changed.
It's been a long battle, still is sometimes in the oddest situations and I've read so many blogs that would tell you the exact same thing. This is not Gender specific as well, the Singhs are struggling with their swaroop as well. Supposedly 'well groomed' guys either trim or gel their beards. The girls should have 'even' and flowing hair but definitely no facial or body hair.
When I talk about perception it just does not mean when you go out in society, how people react. These issues and insecurities are fed into every human brain through such subtle ways that we don't realise it. Every advertisement kids/adults watch on TV or magazine have this clause that you HAVE to HAVE this product to look beautiful, to feel confident or to attract the attention of opposite sex. One of the cosmetic surgery group advises us 'to visit their clinic to change your life for the better'.
They don't give you a choice, they tell you that this is the right way and further enforce it upon you with visual tools. Abnormally thin girls with shreds of cloths they call 'designer wear' will be shown with guys ogling them and the advertisement would state that she is 'gorgeous'. Vice versa for boys is true as well. Trust me I've been there and copied them to be accepted by peers and society.
I'm not against fashion but again for me fashion is creativity not vulgarity, two things which have been grossly misconstrued in Society today. I've seen beautiful and elegant girls/ladies and not necessarily from a Sikh background. Why do you think so many photographers win accolades on their pics where they capture village girls doing their daily chores. Infact I remember cover page of a famous magazine showing the face and eyes of an Afghani girl which enraptured so many, she had no make up at all!!
Its not an easy path and will never be but is it worth going through the pains of plucking out your hair so that others accept you? We think that shaving/threading is to maintain hygiene, on the contrary skin allergies and reactions that you get from plucking your hair out speak otherwise.
Many tribes cut hair to express loss of someone close or to mark someone as an outlaw. Those who think they do it for 'themselves' please have the courage to accept in all honesty that you are conscious of how you look because you don't want to be perceived ugly in the society.
We have bartered our Elegance, grace, finesse and uniqueness for vulgarity, artificial looks, cheap thrills and commonness. Hope we realise that and atleast start the journey to gain confidence in ourselves, the way we were made by THE CREATOR and not by the way the society made us.
