The Hair issue!!

I've always asked too many questions I think and luckily enough I've been blessed with satisfactory answers. May have taken time but I've got them nevertheless..

The first question I had asked my Singh before our marriage was about facial hair!! I just never thought I could be accepted with them by any 'reasonably sane' guy. I still feel that was the most inconsequential and silly question I had asked yet that too was patiently answered. I know these things now but a year back I saw things differently. So what has changed over this year? Have I stopped socialising, gone underground or have been brain washed?

The answer is.. My perspective has changed.

It's been a long battle, still is sometimes in the oddest situations and I've read so many blogs that would tell you the exact same thing. This is not Gender specific as well, the Singhs are struggling with their swaroop as well. Supposedly 'well groomed' guys either trim or gel their beards. The girls should have 'even' and flowing hair but definitely no facial or body hair.

When I talk about perception it just does not mean when you go out in society, how people react. These issues and insecurities are fed into every human brain through such subtle ways that we don't realise it. Every advertisement kids/adults watch on TV or magazine have this clause that you HAVE to HAVE this product to look beautiful, to feel confident or to attract the attention of opposite sex. One of the cosmetic surgery group advises us 'to visit their clinic to change your life for the better'.

They don't give you a choice, they tell you that this is the right way and further enforce it upon you with visual tools. Abnormally thin girls with shreds of cloths they call 'designer wear' will be shown with guys ogling them and the advertisement would state that she is 'gorgeous'. Vice versa for boys is true as well. Trust me I've been there and copied them to be accepted by peers and society.

I'm not against fashion but again for me fashion is creativity not vulgarity, two things which have been grossly misconstrued in Society today. I've seen beautiful and elegant girls/ladies and not necessarily from a Sikh background. Why do you think so many photographers win accolades on their pics where they capture village girls doing their daily chores. Infact I remember cover page of a famous magazine showing the face and eyes of an Afghani girl which enraptured so many, she had no make up at all!!

Its not an easy path and will never be but is it worth going through the pains of plucking out your hair so that others accept you? We think that shaving/threading is to maintain hygiene, on the contrary skin allergies and reactions that you get from plucking your hair out speak otherwise.

Many tribes cut hair to express loss of someone close or to mark someone as an outlaw. Those who think they do it for 'themselves' please have the courage to accept in all honesty that you are conscious of how you look because you don't want to be perceived ugly in the society.

We have bartered our Elegance, grace, finesse and uniqueness for vulgarity, artificial looks, cheap thrills and commonness. Hope we realise that and atleast start the journey to gain confidence in ourselves, the way we were made by THE CREATOR and not by the way the society made us.

Untitled

I have no title for this post because this is just one of those days when I just want to write what is in my heart irrespective of what you think.

Can I have a split personality? Can I be a double faced person who goes to a great length to keep everyone happy? Yup, I think I can do that. I can actually let go of the real me and be what you want me to be. or let me correct myself, I used to be that person who went to great pains and often lot of fights with my own conscience to be accepted by my peers. I was smiling but not happy from inside. I think my blogs reflected that very well.

Well, it could be argued that I am still the same and changing for the person I think is Mr Right. For once I have an answer for all those putting up this question to me and that is: "I don't need to answer to anyone of you." If I was thinking then I would have backed out long time back because I know for sure that it's not at all easy to walk on the path I am walking. It's not easy to let go of my inhibitions, face opposition and sarcasm and disbelief and still have the conviction to travel the right path. It's not east to talk about Waheguru in 2 months when you have kept these feelings hidden in your heart for 23 years.

It is also not easy to let go of your ego and learn as a kid, not easy to love someone and somehow him not believing you either. It's not that it is easy for the others as well. It is hard for others also to accept me and my talks about my true feelings. It is natural to feel I'm not the same. I don't blame anyone for the distrust or the raised eyebrows or the shock and surprise. I'm sure if I am blessed enough to follow my Guru, others will accept me eventually. Sometimes although I do tend to feel bad that a proof needs to be given to show my commitment but then I think its the only way I can move on.

All I think I am trying to tell is that I have a lot of things that I am going through and I wish people would just wait and let me be ready to take the plunge. Too many questions and too many doubts will not cloud my conviction and take me away from my Guru now, but it will sure take me aloof from you. If all of you love me then support me for taking this step and encourage me and if you can't then step back or you gonna loose me. I just can't handle the pressure and the questions and the disbeliefs and the learning and my ego and correcting it and being a kid and listening to smeone making soo much sense and realising the fact that I'm wortheless as of now. I can say one thing for sure..

Everything comes from a conscience effort, even reminding yourself to remember Waheguru takes a conscience effort till it becomes natural habit. I'm just in that phase wherein I know what is important and I'm making a conscience effort to make it a habit. If you are one of those who is ready to accept that fact then I do NOT care how you look or dress or laugh or eat. I just can't prove anything to anyone or make anyone except my Waheguru happy. If this thought upsets you then I'm sorry you'll probably be disappointed in me.

I don't know which category you fall in when you read this but just give me time and space and not ask too many questions.

I would really like to apologize.. coz I know this is a very hurtful post.

From: A yet to be born daughter of Guru Sahib...

Rabb rakha ji..

Singh of my Life..

I have not met him in person.

The biggest act of courage is to have faith. Faith in your Guru. I have never blogged about religion except for one post that brought out my uncontrollable emotions that I have always hidden. "I believe in God". Somehow this statement seems to baffle many so called outgoing peers of mine and so I never bothered or honestly was too shy to bring out my true feelings and write about them. I wanted to blend in rather than stand out and be me. It’s very easy to write about love and relationships once you have been through your college life. It is very very difficult to blog about your religious feelings because many times we refuse to let ourselves accept the fact that we are religious.

Well, when I say I have not met him in person I am not referring to God. It is on the contrary a person whom I’m gonna be spending the rest of my life with. I’m not in love with him because as I have always said love nowadays is highly overrated. Well then why did I decide to marry him even without meeting him? The answer is- My heart says so. If that is not a valid enough point for you as a reader then discontinue reading this post. Because that’s what it is about. My heart and my Guru said that this is the person for me. I still tell him I love him and it may seem contradicting but unfortunately there has never been a word created that could describe a feeling which every girl has for the guy she is getting married to and so we adjust with the word love.

It would confuse many why I am changing so much for a guy I hardly know. Well, I am not changing for him. It is because of him that I finally can be what I really wanted to be but was too scared of people’s reaction. The beautiful dastaar and the chunni on my head is what I wanted. The serene bliss and calm on the face. Being my Guru’s beloved Kaur.

Do I need a guy to help me become my Guru’s daughter? Am I that weak? The answer is yes. I am that weak even now that sometimes I get scared of the path that I have chosen. What I’m not scared of is to admit this weakness. Every person has their own journey to follow and I am glad I have got a life partner who shares his passion for religious knowledge with me. We are not competing in this journey but are holding each other tightly while taking every step forward. He has walked this journey for quite some time now but is willing to slow down and show me the way.

We both have the strength to teach and to learn from the other, not because we are some amazing creatures but because our Guru has amazing faith in us. We love our lives and love showing care and possessiveness for each other. At the same time we love traveling on this unfathomable journey of being a true Gursikh.

I hope we have the courage to have faith in our Guru. That is all we expect out of ourselves and out of each other.

Rabb Rakha

Confused??

Who are we?

What do we want from our life?

Is reading a passion or a compulsion?

Whom do we love and why?

Who are our friends?

How much trust can you have on others?

Is there a god?

Does love exist?

Do people genuinely care about others?

Is drinking a bad habit?

When is a live-in relation justified?

Is it ok to bitch about others?

Why do people crib about their happy live?

Why miss others when you have your life to deal with?

How can you show that you love and care?

Is it wrong to think about oneself?

Why do we complicate things and life?

Why the need to talk to someone when you alone?

Why pray only when you in trouble?

Why having sex is such a major issue in our lives?

Why do people end up judging you?

Why do we have to be social?

Why is money, religion and looks the most important attributes for marriage?

Why can't people mind their own business?

Why are we always confused about our decisions?

Why live a life we gonna end regreting having lived in the first place..??

Why write this post, this blog?

Why have confusions?

P.S: I always tried and provide answers which seem relevant to me.. but here are some confusions which we all face. hope my readers can answer some for me..

Funny love!!

Why is it that a person whom we love deeply, we cannot properly pronounce their names? We always end up shortening their names to an extent that they seem like funny baby noises.. Imagine my husband will start by callin me ripu.. to rips.. to ri.. and various other versions in affect to that

.

Another scenario I've noticed is that we tend to give cute names to our lovers.. shona, sweetu, jaan, jaanu, babes, baby, honey, sugar and all sweetening stuff. So in the new age health concious world I would hate my husband calling me honey or sweets and we would switch to the more healthy option of Sugar free or natura and so on... Although not as romantic but atleast its a healthy option!! wat say!!

Now Lovers have got to meet up right!!?? And one major issue of concern here is WHERE?? There are a lot of coffee shops and malls but naa thats too cliche now.. Mocha and hooka joints are in.. Then comes the part of payments.. Dutch?? Does it work??

Am I your equal that I have to pay or should one person be generous enough? I think this is very case specific and to each one its own. I would not comment on it.

Love to marriage is a case which is a little more trickier and thicker muck to go down in. Maximum of "love" cases trickle down to past relations and crushes because they do not or cannot cross the transition phase and the tribulations faced in such phases.

Then there is another kind of love.. the love that never was...

This scenario is when a guy/gal loves someone but they do not respond. The type of funny oaths that are given in leu of attaining the love that did not exist in the first place is heartrendingly hilarious. Being on either side of such a situation is an enormously emotional trauma.

Love is funny and love is very subjective and case sensitive.

If you are in love then try and look back on your relation and what you cling onto in a relation, is it the sweetened talk or is it the solid trust and respect.

Happy Loving Anyways!!

BR

Manu

New World.. New Challenges..

I'm an Engineer!!!

Technically I've written all my examinations and jus one more result and I'm done. I've done pretty well for myself in college, having enjoyed every kinda mischief with pals from bunking to cheating to late nite parties to the crushes.. etc etc.. I've even secured a job in a reputed company (although the joining date is so late) and even my percentage is great..

Have I got any regrets?? 

Nope.. 

I've done every mistake I could, said the wrong things, been at the wrong place at the wrong time, yet every single mistake has made me the person who I am and I love that. I've learnt how to find friends and how to keep true friends. Nothing that I can write down will do justice to the experience of these four years of my college life. I still take the time to write this blog because I wanna remember how much I value those moments, so that when somewhere down the line I hit rock bottom again I can look back and smile at these inspirational moments and say to myself

" If you could come out with shining colors after four years of Engineering.. This problem is a cake walk!!"

I'm on a vacation now.. I deserve it.. I also need this vacation to spend quality time with those who have patiently taken my busy schedules and adjusted even thier marriage timings for my sake. 

When I'm back I'll again have to join the hustle of yet another world of job and the "rat race" but I'm ready.. Because the college life has not drained me out of my pleasures of life.. on the contrary it has enfused in me the energy to make it big in a world full of competition and shown me that in the end the integrity you kept through the journey matters a lot more than the destination that you have arrived at!! 

A Page From My Diary

I stood alone in the balcony for an hour yesterday. The weather exactly suited my mood. The strong winds were hitting my face and making a mess of my forever tangled hair. I was lost. Today like so many other times before, I fought with my friends, yelling and shouting and all the commotion that I create just for attention I guess. Although I call this attention care. A shout that even I exist and think of me. As a friend I can be impossible to handle. My moods are dangerously erratic and to be frank irrritating. Yet I do care too for these same people whom I give such a hard time. I care for them beyond they can ever imagine. Why am I lost??? The answer to this is also with me but I'm too tired of not being able to work on this solution. I have to start respecting myself but I don't do that. I'm scared that Ill be left alone in this college, a stage I've experienced in my final yr in a new school and frankly I don't want that to happen again. People confuse me, my patience has exhausted and when I find people around me who take my tantrums I give them more and more of bullshit. Blaming others is like a hobby now and needing the attention of someone or the other 24*7 a desperate addiction. Its suprising that I should land up in such a position because there was once a time when my space and my novels were my precious assets. I could spend days at home without feeling an iota of boredom. When will I grow up?? When will this phase pass?? It's becoming more and more difficullt to handle myself.. PS: The above post is from my diary that I write regularly. Just felt like sharing this particular page with the reader's. This is not fiction.