Singh of my Life..

I have not met him in person.

The biggest act of courage is to have faith. Faith in your Guru. I have never blogged about religion except for one post that brought out my uncontrollable emotions that I have always hidden. "I believe in God". Somehow this statement seems to baffle many so called outgoing peers of mine and so I never bothered or honestly was too shy to bring out my true feelings and write about them. I wanted to blend in rather than stand out and be me. It’s very easy to write about love and relationships once you have been through your college life. It is very very difficult to blog about your religious feelings because many times we refuse to let ourselves accept the fact that we are religious.

Well, when I say I have not met him in person I am not referring to God. It is on the contrary a person whom I’m gonna be spending the rest of my life with. I’m not in love with him because as I have always said love nowadays is highly overrated. Well then why did I decide to marry him even without meeting him? The answer is- My heart says so. If that is not a valid enough point for you as a reader then discontinue reading this post. Because that’s what it is about. My heart and my Guru said that this is the person for me. I still tell him I love him and it may seem contradicting but unfortunately there has never been a word created that could describe a feeling which every girl has for the guy she is getting married to and so we adjust with the word love.

It would confuse many why I am changing so much for a guy I hardly know. Well, I am not changing for him. It is because of him that I finally can be what I really wanted to be but was too scared of people’s reaction. The beautiful dastaar and the chunni on my head is what I wanted. The serene bliss and calm on the face. Being my Guru’s beloved Kaur.

Do I need a guy to help me become my Guru’s daughter? Am I that weak? The answer is yes. I am that weak even now that sometimes I get scared of the path that I have chosen. What I’m not scared of is to admit this weakness. Every person has their own journey to follow and I am glad I have got a life partner who shares his passion for religious knowledge with me. We are not competing in this journey but are holding each other tightly while taking every step forward. He has walked this journey for quite some time now but is willing to slow down and show me the way.

We both have the strength to teach and to learn from the other, not because we are some amazing creatures but because our Guru has amazing faith in us. We love our lives and love showing care and possessiveness for each other. At the same time we love traveling on this unfathomable journey of being a true Gursikh.

I hope we have the courage to have faith in our Guru. That is all we expect out of ourselves and out of each other.

Rabb Rakha

Confused??

Who are we?

What do we want from our life?

Is reading a passion or a compulsion?

Whom do we love and why?

Who are our friends?

How much trust can you have on others?

Is there a god?

Does love exist?

Do people genuinely care about others?

Is drinking a bad habit?

When is a live-in relation justified?

Is it ok to bitch about others?

Why do people crib about their happy live?

Why miss others when you have your life to deal with?

How can you show that you love and care?

Is it wrong to think about oneself?

Why do we complicate things and life?

Why the need to talk to someone when you alone?

Why pray only when you in trouble?

Why having sex is such a major issue in our lives?

Why do people end up judging you?

Why do we have to be social?

Why is money, religion and looks the most important attributes for marriage?

Why can't people mind their own business?

Why are we always confused about our decisions?

Why live a life we gonna end regreting having lived in the first place..??

Why write this post, this blog?

Why have confusions?

P.S: I always tried and provide answers which seem relevant to me.. but here are some confusions which we all face. hope my readers can answer some for me..

Funny love!!

Why is it that a person whom we love deeply, we cannot properly pronounce their names? We always end up shortening their names to an extent that they seem like funny baby noises.. Imagine my husband will start by callin me ripu.. to rips.. to ri.. and various other versions in affect to that

.

Another scenario I've noticed is that we tend to give cute names to our lovers.. shona, sweetu, jaan, jaanu, babes, baby, honey, sugar and all sweetening stuff. So in the new age health concious world I would hate my husband calling me honey or sweets and we would switch to the more healthy option of Sugar free or natura and so on... Although not as romantic but atleast its a healthy option!! wat say!!

Now Lovers have got to meet up right!!?? And one major issue of concern here is WHERE?? There are a lot of coffee shops and malls but naa thats too cliche now.. Mocha and hooka joints are in.. Then comes the part of payments.. Dutch?? Does it work??

Am I your equal that I have to pay or should one person be generous enough? I think this is very case specific and to each one its own. I would not comment on it.

Love to marriage is a case which is a little more trickier and thicker muck to go down in. Maximum of "love" cases trickle down to past relations and crushes because they do not or cannot cross the transition phase and the tribulations faced in such phases.

Then there is another kind of love.. the love that never was...

This scenario is when a guy/gal loves someone but they do not respond. The type of funny oaths that are given in leu of attaining the love that did not exist in the first place is heartrendingly hilarious. Being on either side of such a situation is an enormously emotional trauma.

Love is funny and love is very subjective and case sensitive.

If you are in love then try and look back on your relation and what you cling onto in a relation, is it the sweetened talk or is it the solid trust and respect.

Happy Loving Anyways!!

BR

Manu

New World.. New Challenges..

I'm an Engineer!!!

Technically I've written all my examinations and jus one more result and I'm done. I've done pretty well for myself in college, having enjoyed every kinda mischief with pals from bunking to cheating to late nite parties to the crushes.. etc etc.. I've even secured a job in a reputed company (although the joining date is so late) and even my percentage is great..

Have I got any regrets?? 

Nope.. 

I've done every mistake I could, said the wrong things, been at the wrong place at the wrong time, yet every single mistake has made me the person who I am and I love that. I've learnt how to find friends and how to keep true friends. Nothing that I can write down will do justice to the experience of these four years of my college life. I still take the time to write this blog because I wanna remember how much I value those moments, so that when somewhere down the line I hit rock bottom again I can look back and smile at these inspirational moments and say to myself

" If you could come out with shining colors after four years of Engineering.. This problem is a cake walk!!"

I'm on a vacation now.. I deserve it.. I also need this vacation to spend quality time with those who have patiently taken my busy schedules and adjusted even thier marriage timings for my sake. 

When I'm back I'll again have to join the hustle of yet another world of job and the "rat race" but I'm ready.. Because the college life has not drained me out of my pleasures of life.. on the contrary it has enfused in me the energy to make it big in a world full of competition and shown me that in the end the integrity you kept through the journey matters a lot more than the destination that you have arrived at!! 

A Page From My Diary

I stood alone in the balcony for an hour yesterday. The weather exactly suited my mood. The strong winds were hitting my face and making a mess of my forever tangled hair. I was lost. Today like so many other times before, I fought with my friends, yelling and shouting and all the commotion that I create just for attention I guess. Although I call this attention care. A shout that even I exist and think of me. As a friend I can be impossible to handle. My moods are dangerously erratic and to be frank irrritating. Yet I do care too for these same people whom I give such a hard time. I care for them beyond they can ever imagine. Why am I lost??? The answer to this is also with me but I'm too tired of not being able to work on this solution. I have to start respecting myself but I don't do that. I'm scared that Ill be left alone in this college, a stage I've experienced in my final yr in a new school and frankly I don't want that to happen again. People confuse me, my patience has exhausted and when I find people around me who take my tantrums I give them more and more of bullshit. Blaming others is like a hobby now and needing the attention of someone or the other 24*7 a desperate addiction. Its suprising that I should land up in such a position because there was once a time when my space and my novels were my precious assets. I could spend days at home without feeling an iota of boredom. When will I grow up?? When will this phase pass?? It's becoming more and more difficullt to handle myself.. PS: The above post is from my diary that I write regularly. Just felt like sharing this particular page with the reader's. This is not fiction.

MoMmy DaRlIng....

I guess this post has been pending since a very very long time. I've finally put pen to paper today because I realized how many things I want to say but are left untold to this very special person. She is my mum so I naturally respect her with all my heart and for her seniority and because of the plain fact that she gave birth to me. I've always been her favorite and close to her but it was in my late teens I saw my mum in a new light. She was an amazing individual with her values and the way she brought me up from treating me like a kid to repecting me and my needs as an adult. She walks on the thin line of a mother, gaurdian and a true pal. I know it for a fact that very few people share a bond the likes of which mum and me share. Mum has always been there.. strong, supportive.. a backbone.. I've still made my mistakes, broken her trust and I'm in many ways opposite to her, but she still respects my individuality. The best thing is that she loves my other two siblings just as much, or sometimes even more for the reason that they have not been with her for very long. I've taken a lot of time to write this particular post and its maybe because its the closest to my heart. The reason I'm finally posting it is because I fear it might get too late if I don't do it now. Plain simple three words that I've used frivolously for everyone but the person who mattered the most.. Mum... I LOVE YOU.. Always have and always will. I truly believe you have a right to be happy and free just like you gave us the option to be happy and free. In the end.. or a new beginning.. Your children will be with you.. N so will your best friend.. :) take care..

Yours Truly

I've often heard and read about people addicted to somethings in life that harm them but they are too dependent on them that it becomes their way of living.Then it might be as harmful stuff as drugs or alcohol or smoking or something like gambling or shopping. An addiction always causes the worst of effects. More often than not the addicted person realises it too late to make remedies for it. Few are lucky whose freinds and family help them get out of it and I've also met people who overcome addiction with their sheer will power.

Lets talk now of something different. I mean has anyone of you ever thought about addiction to people. Very often we name such stuff as unconditional love and devotion but here is a wake up call for all those who think they are emotionally attached but are actually addicted to that person. A close pal told me that friends are like parties and I never believed him. Turns out that what he spoke out of experience was the bitter truth which I was not mature enough to accept.

Friends teach you a lot but very few friends can be bluntly honest no matter how much you hate that.The common symptoms of addiction to a person is when you take all the emotional atrocities and degradations of that person in the name of attachment. Readers who by now are confusing this post to be about a girl guy relation are very much mistaken. This post applies to every relation in which only one party gives and the other person is a bully. All those parents who get abused by their bread winning kids and all the sisters who take being beaten up by brothers and all the wives who have no emotional happiness in their relation but are still not ready to fight for their self respect are addicted. Addicted to a way of life no matter how bad but atleast certain and are too broken to dare to break free. This post is for them. This post is also for all those people who know people suffering from this addiction yet refuse to recogonize and act.

I cry a lot for small little pains that I have to go through but as I write this blog I'm ashamed of how I exaggerate my problems. There is nothing more painful than to be broken down emotionally by one person and not being able to rise up for one's own self respect. Wake up people because this addiction is more heartrendingly disastorous than any other addiction because it kills a person's esteem and honour and will power. It also emotionally scares every one around that person and it is very hard to fight it because no medicine or therapy can cure a broken heart and a broken person.

To all those who happen to read this, look around and look inside you. Help yourself and help others to live with dignity and emotional freedom because no emotional slave has done any good in his or her life.